Behind Me

Dear Readers,

Yesterday I was followed by an invisible man while out jogging.

I could hear his footsteps frequently, but he was never visible.

An old man with eyes like a fly’s watched me go by. They were set so deeply into his face his socket bones protruded.

I am sure the women who sit on the benches talk about me. They whisper a lot. Isn’t that odd; who whispers unless they don’t want to be heard?

If I don’t go jogging, something terrible will happen.

I am convinced that the shadows are alive.

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Nightmare Morning

Falling I’m falling I’m falling I’m falling falling falling-

No. I’m in bed. I can’t breathe and there’s a hand on my mouth, but I’m in bed help me

No. That’s my dream too. I’m in bed for real. And it’s morning and I’m supposed to go somewhere.

I feel like spiders are crawling on my face.

BASH YOUR HEAD ON THE WALL IT WILL HELP YOU FEEL BETTER

No. That will not help.

I should scratch myself, that will help!

NO

Maybe I should get out of bed?

NO NO NO

No that’s a bad idea.

Why though? It’s just my bedroom.

I should turn on the television. Ah. Yes. Law and Order. As long as I stay in bed and watch Law and Order wrapped up in my blankets everything is fine.

BANG BANG BANG

No help I’m scared something will hurt me.

No. It’s my mother, annoyed that I’m still in bed.

Help me

No? No? Okay, I’ll just stay here. Bye!

I’m hungry. I’ve been in bed for an hour and I’m awake and SO HUNGRY.

So. Okay. The floor is safe. Let’s scuttle to the kitchen

Oh shit what is that

Oh. Dog. Hey buddy I love you you’ll protect me. Here’s a cookie for you. Watch out for shadows.

Okay. Let’s make a healthy breakfast.

…that’s too hard. Let’s pour some cereal.

STOP BEING A LAZY BITCH AND COOK FOOD.

Okay. Chicken sausage and eggs in a low carb wrap with some greens. That’s not so hard. You did it!

…I wanna go back to sleep.

NO GET UP STUPID AND DRINK COFFEE

DO SOMETHING YOU’RE SO USELESS

KILL YOURSELF

I don’t want to do that. I’ll take the dog for a walk!

no sunshine

Okay that was a nice walk let’s watch TV.

It’s NOON. DO SOMETHING.

…if I bake a cake does that count? Okay. I’ll do that.

SO USELESS GET A JOB

KILL YOURSELF

JUST DIE

Well, I’m not going to do that. I’ll just. Sit here. I’m bored.

Too tired to do anything. Let’s eat some fries.

STUPID FAT BITCH

I’m just gonna…watch TV.

Yeah, that’s a morning after a nightmare. This was just an experiment to try and convey through text how it feels in my head without the addition of a speeding heart and mild nausea.